It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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