is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
