She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
