I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Go christen that room with your naked body.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
