i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
please come you make the beer taste better
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
