don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
