They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
