Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
