wrigley field is MILF paradise
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
