and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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