belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize