Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize