Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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