some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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