i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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