Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
