we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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