I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
