Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
