respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
