So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
