And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Life is so much better after having sex.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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