this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
