good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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