Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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