So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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