i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
