I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
