HIV tests are more positive than that guy
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
