i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
