she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You made out with two different species that night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
