just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
