Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
