glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
