his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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