the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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