yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
