i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
