Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
North Korea, Best Korea!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
