Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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