You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
