Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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