Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I see more hoeing in ur future
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
