Don't you send me to vm
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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