We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
