I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My cat gives me a boner
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize