just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
