if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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