You're completely useless in the revolution.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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