watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I need a hoe opinion
go on
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize