Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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