It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
