You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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