So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
