Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
