Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
