i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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