so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
