You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
