Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My life is pants optional.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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