Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
