Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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