Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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