The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
