Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
