sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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