I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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