just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
